2011
Over the summer I began referring to 2011 as my Great Big Year. I’m in my head all the time. I’m too nostalgic. I get paranoid. I like to put a label on the eras of my life. So over the summer I started making a word document of what this year has been. Here’s what 2011 was:
-Reading Neil Gaimen’s “American Gods,” on the top bunk.
-“Zombie Spaceship Wasteland” by Patton Oswalt
-“Nightswimming” by R.E.M. “
-Road trip w/ John, Hannah, and Grace to see Alex in Ligonier, PA. Boredom. Grace accidentally broke my laptop by pulling on the PS2 cord which caused it to fall off the shelf and land on my computer. Drove to Walmart out of frustration. The Hold Steady – First Night. “Boys and Girls in America”
-Show at Poopy Venue.
- “Horace” weekend getaway. Blue Valentine. Jon’s car died. We were at the Little for two hours. It hit me when you bought me cake. Stayed up late talking. Filmed a runthrough the next day. It got real. Parent’s bed (not what you think)
-A Safe Place. ““These feelings are like uh…feelings of love. I saw a man spill some coffee on his hand in a hamburger store and nobody had any time to even realize that it was just a simple clumsy human thing that had happened and about all that they could do was be embarrassed about it. And I found myself laughing uncontrollably about it. Then when I thought about it again it made me cry. But if I went around crying all the time I don’t think I’d be very good company”
-Snow day. What is going to happen?
-“Good Arms VS Bad Arms” by Frightened Rabbit. “So I’ll stick to my guns but from now on its war.”
-“You’re cool”
“You’re evil”
-“Thank you”
-Crying randomly because good things were happening and I wasn’t used to it.
-“Tongue” by R.E.M.
-Room 190
-“Kirk, if you hang up the phone, I swear I’m gonna fucking kill myself”
-Everything changed before spring break. Red State road trip w/ Jon & Miles. Seeing Kevin Smith. Seeing a different side of Miles.
-From The Wings
- “Blue” by R.E.M. “I like you, love you, every coast of you. I’ve seen your eddies and tides and hurricanes and cyclones.
-Sex
- “Do You Realize” by The Flaming Lips
-A beard
-Winning the improv competition. BJ Novak.
-“Floating in the Forth” by Frightened Rabbit. “Take your life. Give it a shake.”
-Shaun the waiter from Olive Garden. Champagne of the South.
-The clubhouse.
-“Rosemarie” by Superchunk. “Sometimes I look into the sun and wonder what my worrying was really, really for”
-A roast (I say a toast)
-Goodbye NLTR
-Broken rearview mirror
-Cumslap.com
-Graduation
-Hot chocolate disaster
-“Bad Sects” by Cursive
-Smelling too much weed
-Joe’s letter
-Trip to PA. Lake house.
-Screenwriting class
-Yoga
-“Local Man Ruins Everything” by The Wonder Years. “I walked upstairs and shaved my beard. I felt like I was holding sadness here.”
-Opening my mouth
-Crying in the clubhouse
-“Woke Up Older” by The Wonder Years “I left a note up on your bed that said Hey Thanks again for everything you did. Hey Jess, I woke up older carrying two years in the bags under my eyes.”
- When my futon was at school, it was comfortable. When I moved it home, it was not as comfortable.
-I wrote a lot of new songs.
-Show at Towpath Café.
-4th of July
-The Beach
-Walking around my neighborhood
-“Life is Killing Me” by Fireworks. “Forgive me to tell you that this country got the best of my morals.”
-Frustration
-Visiting Joe in NYC. UCB. Law Firm. Becca, JR, Taylor, Jon.
-“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” by Jonathan Safran Foer
-Driving home from Geneseo. Letting the year catch up with me. Breathing heavily.
-“Following Through” by The Dismemberment Plan “It coulda been good. It coulda been something special. It may have had real potential. It never could show”
“I’ll Never Leave New York” by Polar Bear Club
-“Dandelion Wine” by Ray Bradbury “Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know, for I’m one of them.”
-“The Weight of the Straw” by Ida. “And this world is so much bigger, oh, than us”
-“Love Your Friends, Die Laughing” by Man Overboard “And a days worth bitching goes down the drain when you lay in my bed and pick my brain.”
-TIFF with Jon. Jay Duplass “It’s sad to say but some of the emotional peaks of our lives have been in movie theatres so seeing this here and hearing your reaction…there’s no better feeling.”
-Fuckin’ braces
-Re-joining the Rochester Improv Community. Provumentary.
-“The City” by The Dismemberment Plan “All I ever say now is good-bye”
-Realizing I need to put my foot down
-What happened to you? I miss my friend.
“Corn Riggs” by Paul Giovanni
-Trip #2 to NYC. Seeing Sean, Jon, Dan, Matt Grossman. Law Firm. Newsical: The Musical aka the worst. The Swell Season w/ director. Two conversations. Let the stress begin.
-“Farewell Summer” by Ray Bradbury on the train
-Fallback Comedy Festival
-“ Plays Pretty For Baby” by Zoloff The Rock And Roll Destroyer
-Doing stand-up for the first time
-“The Weekenders” by The Hold Steady
-Sleepovers like old times
-Canary In A Coal Mine
“Navy Sheets” by The Hold Steady. “Left home virgins, came back vampires”
-Jackson, Fluff, Today’s The Day, The Benhannah, Trying, Pan, Miles Gets Goosebumps
-“Bathtub” by The Front Bottoms. “She says can you feel that? Oh what a marvelous sensation.”
-Finally seeing “Hoodalabeep” completed.
In conclusion - I’ve said goodbye more than I would like this year. I graduated, ended relationships, and people moved away. I realized that college is not real life at all. I have a bit more confidence than last year. I found that most situations I built up in my head turned out to be either not a big deal or not what I ever hoped for. For 2012, I would like to work on speaking up more and putting my foot down. Calling people out when they are not being so great to me. I would like to eat better and exercise more, and 2011 saw various periods where that was happening. I used to always say I was excited and scared for the unknown future. This time around, I am just scared. Thank you to those who have stuck around. Happy new year.
